Most of you all knew my grandparents. If you weren't from Hawkinsville, then you knew my Baboo because she was always with me and my mom. You know my Gongaman who's always got a funny story to make you smile. And you knew my Mama Doris and Datee, always there for the many events and activities of their 12 grandchildren that they adored. As far as I was concerned, my whole life, Mama Doris and Datee were a package deal. A twosome. So when Mama Doris died suddenly a year and a half ago, the lack of her presence was palpable. Over the past 2 years, I recorded 5+ hours of Datee answering questions in an oral history account of our family and the farm. Some of it we knew already, but there was plenty that we didn't....some parts even his children didn't know. We have his tender voice talking about growing up on the farm, the childhood antics of he and his brother who was his best friend, his courtship of my grandmother, the childhoods of my dad and his two siblings, and how he and Mama Doris were there when all 12 of us were born. It has been priceless to listen to these stories as his very own parables. Now that Datee is no longer here, I wanted to share with y'all a few things that are neat about him.
While we knew that the farm would always be there, steadfast and true, he taught us that God had created a whole world out there for us to see and explore. On this farm, I learned how to drive (as did my 3 siblings, and 8 other cousins, my dad, my Aunt D, my uncle Bruce, and a young family friend), how to fish (even though I took a 10 year hiatus on this because when I was a tike I thought sweating was the pits), and how much fun a wagon filled with cotton was for us to play in. We all learned that the combination of his famous fried chicken and Mama Doris' mashed potatoes was surely sent from Heaven. We always knew there was candy in the pantry for us - 2nd shelf from the bottom, near the Ziplocs, in a basket; there was gum in the drawer under the microwave; and there's enough camellias and azaleas to fill a truck in the spring time. In this consistency, we felt love.
He and Mama Doris taught us the importance of having your family all around the dinner table often. There's not a holiday in my 27 years that wasn't spent around their table with all of the foods that taste like love. Afterwards, the grandkids fall asleep piled on the sofas, in the recliners, and on the floor. Even as we were all gathered there as a family on Sunday, the boys were splayed out in the sunroom watching the Masters, the women were chatting over Diet Cokes and coffee, and the kitchen was overflowing with food - just the way it has always been when he and Mama Doris were still here.
He was a talented story teller, evidenced by the recordings we now have. His recall of dates, places, and names is fascinating. Just a few weeks ago, he told Brince, David and me a story about a young man who he served with in the war. Someday, I would like to type up all of those recordings, but for now, there's nothing like hearing his voice give his own account.
He was an amazing book-keeper. Seriously, he could teach classes on accounting. He knew where every dollar went, down to the penny. One time, he caught a 10 cent mistake in his insurance bill! Even though he was a stickler for his accounting, he was an incredibly generous man. Every birthday, we all got a check in the mail, and every Christmas after all the presents were opened he had a ball passing
one last thing in just the right shade of green.
About a year ago, I had the pleasure of taking Datee to London and Paris along with Aunt D and cousin Andrew. Naturally, with Andrew and I being the oldest grandkids, we are the favorites. ;) I kid. Datee had landed in these two cities before but had never explored them. He and my grandmother travelled all over the United States, and all over the world. They even travelled with my other grandparents to Australia and New Zealand when I was young. They came back with stories and presents for us all, but I was just pumped to have my four buddies back. Back to the trip last year... Andrew and Datee, both Veterans, finished up the trip in Normandy, France. Datee wasn't feeling well while we were away, the beginning signs of his illness, but he was a trooper, and I wouldn't trade a single thing in the world for it. We took in all of the sights, ate all of the foods, and snapped a million pictures. One thing I remember him saying many times was "Man, this is awesome." While our generation uses this word in more of a slang-like way, he meant is as it is defined:
awe·some [aw-suhm] adjective 1. inspiring awe. 2. showing or characterized by awe.
And looking back, yes, what we saw in our 10 days of travel was
awesome. But it was his life that was
really awesome. His love for my grandmother, his love for the land where he grew up and raised his own family, his love for his two sons and daughter, his love for his 12 grandchildren, and his love and devotion to Christian living. Now,
that is awesome.
I will miss my grandfather every day, but am honored to have spent the time I did with him. I smile at the stories and laughter that peppers the memories of my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. I hold those memories dear, and until we meet again, I'll always have Paris.
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